Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Archives: It's not just a Math Team, it's an experience

Here's an excerpt from my "autobiography" (sure to be published any day now):

I continued to participate in the Math Team my final year at Memorial. The senior class that year had outstanding depth. Mike Hanson, Josh Goldfoot, Rich Dubielzig, Jim Argraves and I comprised the main competition for the four senior slots on the first team.

That was also the year that the Math Team became more than just another academic team. Rich and I conspired to turn Memorial’s Math Team into a way of life. It started out fairly small, more idea than execution, but almost before I realized what had happened, we had assumed all the trappings of a Varsity Athletic Team. I think it all started with the Official Math Team Cheer, as created by Ryan Braun and his cronies:

Hit ‘em with the stick, the stick
The Big Memorial Figurative Stick
What’s that stick stand for?
Spirit
Power
Pride
And Death
To you you you you you
To who?
To you you you you you

From there, everything sort of snowballed. Rich soon created the physical embodiment of the formerly figurative Stick by painting a two-by-four white, then painting on it in green “Spirit Power Pride” on one side, and “Death” on the other. At one particularly memorable away meet, Rich made his way up to a balcony with the stick, and enthusiastically led those of us on the team who had little shame in the cheer, swinging the two-by-four so fanatically that I feared it would fly out of his hands and injure someone in the mob below. The collective vibe generated by this display was never seen before or again at any Math Meet... the Memorial Team was yelling the cheer, most of the other students were booing or throwing things at Rich... it was an incredible sight.

That fall, Memorial’s Math Team became a slavering beast that was nearly out of control with school spirit, or perhaps a parody thereof. Somehow, Rich managed to convince several girls we knew (all juniors and seniors as I recall) to become Math Team Cheerleaders, probably the first time in the history of Math Teams that a team had its own cheerleaders. They even custom-made their outfits; green and white pleated skirts with various Greek letters and mathematical symbols on them. At about the same time, the Math Team acquired their own official team jerseys (subsidized by the Academic Booster Club... talk about Math imitating Athletics!). The design was surprisingly restrained, probably as a result of it having been designed by the generally restrained Mike Hanson. The jerseys were plain white T-shirts with “JMM Varsity Math” printed on the front, in the shirt-pocket area (or more specifically, what would have been the shirt-pocket area if the shirts had had pockets, which they didn’t), and a quote from George Orwell’s 1984 (which I had picked out) on the back: “Four, five, six - in all honesty I don’t know.”

Perhaps because the jerseys were so understated, Rich and I felt a need to put our last names and numbers on the back of ours, in the style of athletic jerseys. Well, sort of in the style of athletic jerseys, anyway. Rather than go with cliché numbers like “14” and “27”, we chose mathematical expressions that evaluated to a certain number. For example, the back of my jersey featured a complicated formula which evaluates to one.

In order to get my last name and number on my jersey, I had to make a stencil, which I spent a considerable amount of time (basically, an entire evening) doing. Other Math Team members who made stencils for their jerseys were Rich, Josh, and B.J. Gallenberg, who we convinced to use “ln 0” as his number. Josh used the decidedly elegant e^(pi*i). Rich also made a stencil for Vic Levine, our coach and Calculus teacher, that simply said “COACH.” Various other Math Team members bought jerseys, but decided to keep them plain (wisely, as it turned out).

After the stencils had been made, Rich and I took our jerseys and two cans of spray paint (one black, one green... I chose green for my jersey) to an office tucked away somewhere in the back of Memorial’s hallowed halls. We were debating how to achieve the best results when the surprisingly headstrong (almost kamikaze) Josh barged in, and with no hesitation whatsoever, slapped his stencil on his jersey, grabbed a can of paint, and sprayed away.

The first thing that we noticed was that spray paint doesn’t just go where you aim the can, it kind of drifts and bounces all over the place. The next thing we noticed, after Josh lifted his stencil from his jersey, was that Josh’s spraying method did not produce great results. There was a pronounced paint outline where the borders of his stencil had been. Rich and I grabbed some newspapers to lay at the edges of our stencils so we wouldn’t face the same problem.

The next jersey to be defaced was Mr. Levine’s. This time we were more careful; we put newspapers on the areas of the shirt that the stencil didn’t cover before spraying it. Rich did the spraying. As he slowly lifted the stencil so only he could see the results, I hesitantly asked him, “Is it better than Josh’s?”

Rich’s morose reply was simultaneously pathetic and hilarious: “It’s not as bad as Josh’s, but it’s bad enough to be ashamed.” A look at the jersey confirmed for me that we hadn’t chosen the best possible method to adorn our garments. We had still manged to get paint in places where it didn’t belong, and the outline of the lettering wasn’t very sharp.

Next, Rich and I painted our own jerseys with fairly mediocre results (although ours did turn out better than Josh’s or Mr. Levine’s).

Finally, B.J. Gallenberg arrived, and after being advised of our previous errors, spray painted through his stencil for a much longer time than Rich and I had with the previous shirts. When he was done, we could see a beautiful, dark, legible “ln 0” on his jersey through the stencil. I felt a momentary pang of envy. His jersey looked good. Then he lifted the stencil, and we had a good laugh at his expense. The paint had so thoroughly soaked the jersey that it had spread out under the stencil, and his number was actually completely illegible, little more than two large blobs of green paint.

The discouragement over our jerseys didn’t prevent further activity on other new fronts for Rich, me, and the Math Team. For our next gimmick, Rich and I made a gigantic Math Team poster and hung it in Memorial’s cafeteria. Rich had to argue a bit with the teacher who was in possession of the giant markers that are necessary for such an effort (something about them only being for use by cheerleaders for athletic teams), but after some haggling, he were able to secure the necessary equipment. Rich wanted the posters to proclaim, “JMM Varsity Math: We’ll Squeeze Their Cheese,” but I vociferously vetoed that idea. Finally we agreed upon a slogan that would promise victory over Memorial’s #1 rival, evil West High, the only school to offer our team decent competition each year (but ultimately, perennially placing #2 in the city to the always victorious Spartans). A little advance explanation here: West’s team had named themselves The Oinkers (I have no idea why). With this in mind, we wrote on the poster in two-foot-high letters, “JMM Varsity Math Brings Home The Bacon,” then for the sake of those ignorant non-Math Teamers in the school, added “(Beats West)” at the bottom.

To add the final glorious piece to the Math Team puzzle, Rich and I composed a “Math Team Fight Song” that spring. I suggested we begin the song with the line “We are the indefatigable Math Team,” but quickly changed my mind, believing it to be too rhythmically awkward. However, Rich very quickly came up with an appropriate rhythm, as well as the next three lines, so we retained my opening line. Before long, the Math Team had its own official fight song. The lyrics incorporate some of the Official Math Team Cheer, and are as follows:

Math Team Fight Song (Conners/Dubielzig)

We are the indefatigable Math Team
Proudly showing off our green and white
Glad that we are Memorial Spartans
Boldly charging forth into the fight
Our teams are so mathematically perfect
Solving every problem sent their way
Understanding the concepts
Knowing all of the formulas
Math Team, we’ll go all the way

Spirit
Power
Pride
And Death
To you you you you you
To who?
To you you you you you

(Repeat verse)

After the first meet, things looked less rosy for the Math Team than they had in previous years. Rather than dominating, Memorial’s First Team (of which I was a member) took second place at the meet (see article from The Independent, V.1 N.4). Many teams might have been happy to take second, but for Memorial, it was a direct slap in the face. Adding to our distress, West’s First Team had taken first place. My respectable 5th place individual finish at the meet was not enough to secure a team victory.

Unfortunately, things did not immediately perk up for the Math Team. The second meet of the year, which was to have been held December 4, was canceled due to a teacher slowdown. No more math meets were held until the spring semester.

Finally, on January 29, we had our chance for revenge. This time, at a meet held at East High, Memorial rose to the challenge, as the first team took first place out of the 54 teams in attendance. Perhaps not coincidentally, this meet also featured the debut of the Math Team Cheerleaders.

Throughout the spring, the Math Team Cheerleaders did their best to keep our spirits high. They actually traveled to local meets with the team (many of them were actually on the Math Team itself), and wrote and performed several cheers. The cheerleaders courageously continued to cheer through fierce heckling from other jealous teams that were cheerleaderless. Although they were left out of the yearbook that year, those who didn’t graduate continued to cheer on the Math Team the following year and won their rightful place in the 1992-1993 Memorial Yearbook.

At the third meet of the year, held March 18 at rival West High, Memorial again emerged from the field victorious, capturing first place (see article from The Independent, V.1 N.8).
The Memorial Math Team finished out the year strong, winning the district title for an amazing seventh straight year. The team also placed an excellent, if slightly disappointing seventh at the state meet.

It was the last meet of the season, held after the state meet due to the earlier teacher slowdown, at which we noticed that we had started a small trend: West’s team had followed our lead, acquiring jerseys of their own. Luckily for the safety of all involved, they never got their own cheerleaders. You don’t want to be around when two rival sets of Math Team Cheerleaders meet.



Related articles:

Independent, V.1 N.4, 27 November 1991
Math team takes second at first meet
By Rich Dubielzig

Memorial’s varsity math team lost to Madison West by an agonizing four points at the October 16 Madison LaFollette math meet. Despite this close loss, the Spartans are hoping to make it to their seventh consecutive state tournament.

“We have a large supply of talent this year, and it looks like we’re really gonna kick some butt,” said enthusiastic team #1 member senior Ryan Conners. “This year, we also have our own cheerleaders and T-shirts. That kicks too,” said Conners.

“Coming out of the first event we were looking pretty good. But then we faced the mother of all mental math problems, and things went downhill,” said varsity team member senior Josh Goldfoot.

This statement reflects some of the disappointment felt at Memorial’s torturously close 231-235 loss to arch-rival West at the recent meet at LaFollette. Although varsity team #1 had more of its members ranked in the top five, including a perfect score of 30 by senior Mike Hanson, West’s team had a greater average score, therefore winning the meet. Memorial’s loss was due in part to the extremely difficult mental math event that is characteristic of the first meet of the season.

Although the math team cheerleaders were unable to appear at the LaFollette meet, they will be making their debut at the December 4 meet at Memorial. “I think that it’ll make [the math team] feel better, because, as far as I know, we’re the only [academic] cheerleaders in the state,” said math team cheerleader Sarah McLain.



Sword & Shield, V. 25 N.5, 6 February 1992
Math team wins
By Warren Chang

The Memorial Math Team showed its strength at the January 29th meet at East High School. The team rebounded from its defeat at the hands of West to beat the Regent team by more than thirty points. The other Memorial Varsity team took third place after West.

Top scorers in this meet were Mike Hanson and Jim Argraves, who both turned in perfect papers, Wilson Tai, Ryan Conners, and Josh Goldfoot. The Junior Varsity team also took first place over the West team. Top scorers for JV were Jason Lowden, Mike Ferris, and Christine Hauptly.

This meet marked the debut of the Memorial Math Team cheerleaders, which made quite an impression both on the Memorial teams and the teams from other schools. The highlight of their performance was Math Team student council leader Rich Dubielzig leading the team in the “stick” chant, which attracted much attention.



Independent, V.1 N.8, 1 April 1992
Math teams take first at regional
By Carolyn Lorenz

Memorial math teams took first at both the varsity and juior varsity level, and the JV #2 team placed fifth at the third regional math meet of the year on March 18. Teams from all over southwestern Wisconsin competed at the meet at West.

The varsity problems were probably the hardest of the year. There were several difficult problems which very few people answered correctly. The highest individual score was a twenty-one out of thirty from West’s Aaron Mandel, and the winning JMM Varsity #1 had a combined total of only 127 points. Team member Mike Hanson placed second individually with his score of 20. Varsity #2 did not place at this meet.

The junior varsity tests were of average difficulty. The winning Memorial JV team #1 received a combined total of 226 points, including the perfect 30 points brought in by sophomore Mike Ferris. Ferris unofficially placed first individually at the meet. JV #2 placed fifth overall.

The math team was cheered along by dedicated math team cheerleaders. At both meets, cheerleaders were pelted with paper balls and pencils while they attempted to do their cheers. But they also received positive comments from students at other schools who felt they were setting a good example.

The Varsity #1 team took first place overall on January 29 at Madison East, while JV #1 placed second. The Varsity #2 team placed third while West’s Team #1 placed first in the JV division.

Spartan mathematicians competed in the State meet on March 28. Seniors Hanson, Ryan Braun, Ryan Conners, Rich Dubielzig, and juniors Wilson Tai, Jessica Forbess, Adam Resnick, and sophomore Warren Chang will be competing. Due to the teacher slowdown, the meet originally scheduled for December at Memorial was put off until after the State meet.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That official cheer was originally created by Braun&Co as IIRC a cheer for the Volleyball team. I shamelessly ripped it off for the Math Team.

Good to see this stuff, it takes me back.

7:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's all true. Though you left out the bit where we got our varsity letters, Rich!

- Mike Hanson (JMMHS 92!)

11:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My T-shirt looked fine. The border washed away. My T-shirt was the envy of all the other math majors at Yale.

Also, I remember someone screwing up the grading of one of my mental math exams. Once that was corrected, the extra points were significant enough both to knock my personal score up a few places, but also to bring my team up a notch. High school is now kind of a haze, but I think this might have been for the October 16 meet--I do seem to remember it being a LaFollette meet.

Who invited all the spammers?

4:47 PM  

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